No

 “Fuck no!” you yell, “I’m a dude!”

The machine takes a second to think, and speaks

“ANSWER ACCEPTED... BEGIN HYPNOSIS”

“Wait what?!” Before you can run, the machine picks you up again and places you in front of a large TV.

The lights flash, and you see a picture of an office building. You’ve never seen this office before, but as the lights keep flashing, it begins to look more and more familiar. After a few seconds of this, something clicks. This is where you work. You’re a secretary at the massive Nü Corporation. Something felt wrong, however. You didn’t remember any male secretaries at the company. The next picture that flashed on the screen was one of you as a man. It must have been taken from your Facebook profile, so it freaked you out a bit that the machine had it. As the lights flashed even more, the picture shifted, each time a little more as your male body in the picture morphed into a female form. With each flash, it felt natural. This was you, and the machine was just showing you a picture of yourself. You were a really sexy girl, and you loved dressing in short skirts to make all the boys swoon. Next, a picture of the English alphabet flashed on the screen, and as the lights kept flashing, they morphed in your head, the English you know fading away, replaced with something else. You never learned English, but that didn’t matter because you worked for the Chinese wing of the Nü Corporation. Mandarin and Cantonese were all you really needed.

As the lights continued, your memories of ever being a boy began to fade, replaced with your life as a girl. Football practice was swapped out for makeup tutorials with your mom, your first kiss with your high school girlfriend faded away, with your first time with your boyfriend remaining. The you that entered the room no longer existed, not really.

The door opened and the machine put you down. You scurried out and one of the stylists grabbed you.

“Can I help you, Ma’am?”

“我不明白”, you said (Translation: I do not understand)

Confused, you walk out and look through the purse that appeared in your hand. There was a ticket to Beijing, and you went right to the airport.

You got to your new job and settled in. As expected, you were very popular with the boys and the girls. You reached your desk and helped out wherever you could.

Months later, you decided that you wanted to try climbing up the company, and looking down at your killer body, you knew exactly how to do it. The boss was a huge horn dog, and one day, you snuck into his office and ripped off your clothes, leaving yourself in sexy lingerie, posing on his desk. When he came in, he was shocked to see you, but you could see his penis showing through his jeans. You smiled and gestured to him seductively, bringing him inside.

You whisper into his ear, “爸爸，给我升职”(Translation: Give me a promotion, daddy.)

The boss gulps, a feeling of elation and eroticism going through him. You earned yourself that promotion and your ladder-climbing had just begun